Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

If you follow me on Instagram, you would have seen a very enthusiastic book review on my story raving about Richard Carlson’s book, ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff…. and it’s all small stuff.’ I love it so much, that I’ve decided to dedicate a whole blog to it, choosing ten of my favourite lessons and putting them into my own words. Let’s start with the most obvious …

  1. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

    I believe making an effort to not sweat the small stuff, can enhance your life in SO many ways. It helps you become more present, it allows you more time to focus your energy on the things in life that actually matter, you become a more pleasant person to be around and you don’t run the risk of making the small things any worse. How often do we blow small inconveniences out of proportion? Richard talks about how it may start with something as simple as a stranger cutting in front of you in traffic. Rather than let it go and go on with our day, we convince ourselves that we are justified in our anger. Do you ever play out an imaginary confrontation in your mind? I sure have! What’s scary, is that our mind can’t tell the difference between imagination and real life, so while you’re playing out this confrontation, your mind believes you’re fighting with someone, and your energy puts itself on a negative frequency, opening you up to attract negative circumstances, people and things. When someone skips the line, your phone wasn’t plugged in properly, you bang your knee or loose $10, choose to see it differently. Allow it to just, go. When someone else is the reason for your anger, choose to see them and the situation with compassion. It’s not worth wasting your energy on it.

  2. Remind Yourself that When You Die, Your “In Basket” Won’t Be Empty.

    I loved this one. Basically what Richard is saying, is why do we all stay up late, get up early, avoid having fun, budget like crazy and keep our loved ones waiting in the hope to somehow get everything done. I’m guilty of obsessing over my to-do list and striving to get absolutely everything on it done. While sometimes I will tick off everything and get a temporary feeling of relief and fulfilment, the ‘in basket’ will soon be full again. It’s natural to convince ourselves that once our to-do list is complete we will feel relaxed and happy, but there’s always going to be something else. I think having a to-do list is great! I also think moving forward, ticking boxes and being productive is great. But sometimes, obsessing over getting things done leaves us feeling stressed, it takes us away from people or occasions that matter and we miss out on opportunities because we’re not present, going with the flow or flexible. So I think we should all ask ourselves… what is most important? It might be different for you, but mine is family, friends, health and happiness. I’m going to do my best to put my to-do list after those four aspects!

3. Don’t Interrupt Others or Finish Their Sentences

I think this is a really important one, as it’s something a lot of us do, but may not notice. This is actually a really destructive habit, because when you interrupt others, the conversation can go from a relaxed, respectful and interesting discussion, to a fast-paced, exhausting and competitive discussion. Another lesson in Richard’s book is letting others be right, and I think that comes into play here as well. When someone else is speaking, let them speak, let them take the glory, let them have the attention. The respect you will gain from that person, is far better than the few seconds of fulfilment you might get while you interrupt and give your point. When you hurry someone along, finish their sentence or interrupt, you have to then keep track of your own thoughts and their thoughts as well, how exhausting! Conversations are supposed to be enjoyed, so do yourself a favour and catch yourself out next time you feel the need to interrupt. You’ll notice all of your interactions improve as a result of this simple act. The people you communicate with will relax around you, and they will feel heard and listened to. You will gain a huge amount of respect in your relationships because of this and you will also enjoy these interactions, rather than rushing through them.

4. Do Something Nice for Someone Else - and Don’t Tell Anyone About It.

Oh Richard! He just makes so much sense! Many of us do nice things for others, but we are almost certain to mention our acts of kindness to someone else, secretly seeking their approval. Acts of kindness are incredible and I encourage you to be kind, think of others and act on those thoughts, but as Richard says, there is something magical about doing something for someone and not mentioning it to anyone, ever. What is amazing is to give, and to not expect anything in return. When we tell others about our acts of kindness, that is essentially what we are doing. We’re expecting something in return, some acknowledgement, some attention or maybe some kindness back for ourselves. When you give, you feel amazing and get warm and fuzzy feelings immediately. These feelings are your reward! Next time you do something nice for someone, don’t tell anyone and revel in these feelings. Take advantage of the good feelings and energy that surrounds you, and use that to attract more incredible and positive things into your life!

5. Set Aside Quiet Time, Every Day

Richard says, there is something rejuvenating and peaceful about being alone and having some quiet time to reflect, work, or simply enjoy the quiet and I completely agree! Our lives are filled with so much noise, conversation, TV’s, confusion, phone calls, social media notifications and confrontations. Spending time alone in a quiet space, with your phone away can mean the difference in a productive, calm and flowing day versus a stressful, fast paced and confusing day. When people say things like ‘I’ve been so busy,’ or ‘it’s been a stressful week,’ we are taught to admire or even validate their behaviour. What about the people who have the same amount of things going on in their lives but manage their time, live a calm life and don’t constantly talk about how stressed and busy they are? I think that should be admired. Setting aside quiet time each day may seem like a big task. But it can be as little as a 3 minute meditation, 10 minutes alone in your room, a 20 minute yoga session, or a few pages of journaling. I, like Richard, notice a huge difference in my day when I don’t set aside quiet time for myself. When I do take a few minutes to just be, my days flow, everything is manageable, and my mind is clear.

6. Seek First to Understand

In Richard’s book, he explains that “seek first to understand’ implies that you become more interested in understanding others and less in having other people understand you. It means ‘mastering the idea that if you want quality, fulfilling communication that is nourishing to you and others, understanding others must come first’. We should be genuinely interested in those who are around us, so this shouldn’t take a huge amount of effort. We are all so different, so it’s actually quite interesting to understand someone else’s point of view, whether you believe it to be wrong or right. When you make an effort to understand others, you become a more compassionate, loving and of course, understanding human. This will have you feeling better about yourself and will improve your relationships, as people will grow a huge amount of respect for you, because of the respect that you’re showing them. It’s normal to perform this in reverse, where we feel we need to be understood to prove a point or to explain ourselves, but this won’t do you, the other person or the conversation you’re having any positive favours. It will become a competitive and up-tight atmosphere, where two people are oblivious to each others needs. When I started to understand the why’s behind people’s doing, not only did I experience the positive feelings I mentioned above, but I started to understand the reason behind why I say and do certain things! This allowed me to slow down, be kinder to myself and work on aspects I realised I need to.

7. Choose Your Battles Wisely.

Richard says, ‘if you choose your battles wisely, you’ll be far more effective in winning those that are truly important.’ There are definitely times where arguing, proving a point or fighting for something you believe in are valid. However, many people do this when it’s really not needed. Starting a fight, or proving your point over something small, can escalate very quickly, and all of a sudden you might be thinking, ‘if I didn’t get angry at my partner for leaving the dishes out, this huge confrontation we’re now having could have been avoided’. Don’t risk changing small, inconvenient experiences into life changing, negative experiences. If you live a life where you allow yourself to get frustrated over every little thing, you will loose track of what is actually relevant, resulting in miss-communication and poorly made decisions. There are always going to be people who see things differently, people who disagree with you and things that don’t work out. ‘If you fight against this principle of life, you’ll spend most of your life fighting battles.’ Life is way too short for that! If you want to live a relatively stress free life, make a conscious decision to choose your battles wisely. You will live a more peaceful life yourself, and people will feel relaxed around you, knowing that you’re carefree and willing to let things go.

8. Practice Humility

‘Humility and peace go hand in hand. The less compelled you are to try to prove yourself to others, the easier it is to feel peaceful inside.’ Proving yourself doesn’t have many benefits at all, but unfortunately it seems to be a natural reflex, where we think we have to prove we are good enough, competent enough, kind enough or experienced enough. Proving yourself takes a lot of energy, and it often comes across as bragging. Why do we feel we need to convince others of our worth as a human being? We don’t. You never should feel as though you need to prove yourself. Of course when you’re in a job interview, at a networking event or on a date, it’s natural to want to impress the person, letting them know of your accomplishments, but continually pointing out your achievements and seeking approval from others isn’t going to do you any favours. It’s funny, because the less you care about seeking approval, the more approval you seem to get. ‘Most people love a person who doesn’t need to brag, a person who shares from his or her heart and not from their ego.’ When something amazing happens in your life, of course you want to tell people, and do! Just make sure you’re doing this for the right reasons, not to prove yourself, not to brag or not to make others jealous, because bragging actually dilutes the positive feelings you receive from the accomplishment in the first place.

9. Think of What You Have Instead of What You Want

Richard has been a stress consultant for over a dozen years, and he says that the most pervasive and destructive mental tendency is focusing on what we want instead of what we have. ‘It doesn’t seem to make any difference how much we have; we just keep expanding our lists of desires, which guarantees we will remain dissatisfied. I have found that myself and others around me have thoughts like, ‘I’ll be happy when my bank account reaches X amount’, ‘I’ll be relaxed when we go on our holiday’, ‘I’ll be confident when I reach X kilograms’ or ‘I’ll feel fulfilled once I finish this degree.’ I want to encourage my readers to enjoy the process because whether you’re studying, loosing weight or saving, when you reach this certain goal you won’t be finished. There will always be something else. Be proud of yourself along the way for milestones you hit! Celebrate small steps to make the process worth it! ‘Happiness can’t be found when yearning for new desires,’ but there is a way to be happy! And that is gratitude for what you have now. When you focus on what you have, instead of what you want, you’re automatically using gratitude to attract your desires. Gratitude is the highest form of vibrational energy - use this to your advantage. Feeling satisfied is an incredible feeling, and no matter where you’re at in your life, you have the option to feel completely satisfied by changing your mindset. Appreciate what you have now, because there’s nothing worse than looking back and thinking you should have enjoyed a time that you didn’t.

10. Think of Your Problems as Potential Teachers

Gabby Bernstein says ‘obstacles are detours in the right direction,’ and I cannot agree with this more. Every problem we face teaches us something, whether it’s patience, confidence, it could bring us closer to our purpose or help us grow. Only you hold the power to choose how to perceive your problems. You can choose to fear them, see them as a nuisance and resent them, resisting the problem all together, or you can choose to embrace them, trusting that the Universe has your back and that the problems will resolve effortlessly and leave you with new lessons and opportunities. You’ll find that maintaining this mindset, lifts a weight off your shoulders. Accept that life brings problems, but change that negative to a positive, and see them as teachers. Almost treat them like an assignment to overcome, it’s exciting to see what’s on the other side, because there’s always a reward in self growth.

If you liked this blog, please hit the love heart! There are 100 lessons in this book, so I can do a follow up blog with another 10 if you liked it!

Thanks for reading, Cleo xx

Limiting Beliefs & Facing Your Fears in 2019

As written in 'May Cause Miracles' FEAR = False Events Appearing Real

The fears that live inside of us can stop us from living our dreams and loving others. Two very important factors in living an amazing life. I believe a goal that everyone should have is to recognise fears and work toward healing them.  

When you choose to perceive love over fear, life begins to flow.  Love and fear cannot exist together. So when you choose to see people and situations through the eyes of love, fear cannot appear.

Recognising your fears can be difficult, as you might think that some fears are just protective methods. But they're all fears and they're all causing limiting beliefs and stopping you in some way or another from living a happy, positive and easy flowing life. 

Change your perspective.

Fears show up in many ways, the most common way is through negative thoughts. Thinking things like ‘I look ugly,’ or ‘I won’t be able to save enough,’ or ‘I can’t do it,’ all come from a place of fear. To live a life through love, you must eliminate these fears. If you believe you can’t do something, you’re right. But if you believe you can do something, you’re right as well.

In 2019, I want to inspire people to get started. Get started on whatever it is that you want to do. Save for that trip, start those yoga classes, eat better food, start your own business, paint that picture. Don’t let fear take over. Imagine if you started what you wanted to 1 year ago? Imagine where you would be now! Well, if you start something now, imagine where you will be this time next year, going into 2020?

Shoot for the moon, because even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.

Everything you do and try in this life, is going to help you grow and learn. Even things that seem small, can end up transforming into something huge. There is no reason why we should sit on ideas instead of giving them a go. A study was done with terminally ill patients and the findings were really quite sad. The majority of the patients said they wish they had the courage to do what they wanted and not what others had expected of them. Can you imagine feeling like this at the end of your life?

The Law of Attraction says that you can attract ANYTHING into your life, if you completely believe. So study up on the Law of Attraction, I have plenty of blogs in my archive and get started now.

Face your fears and distinguish those limiting beliefs you hold by using positive mantras.

You are good enough, you’re smart enough and you’re ready.

Wishing you the most amazing, magical and positive year yet. Happy 2019.

Cleo xx

 
Picture - DreamyMoons by Annie. A beautiful collection of New Year Growth Books and Affirmation cards.

Picture - DreamyMoons by Annie. A beautiful collection of New Year Growth Books and Affirmation cards.

 

Releasing Anger and Healing Situations

I'm really excited about this blog because I'm sure this is something that everyone can relate to. Anger can easily be held onto for no reason and the damage it does to you, your energy and your whole life is pretty crazy! You might be holding onto anger because a certain situation was unfair and the other person was completely in the wrong or maybe you're angry at yourself for something you did or you said? Either way, time to let it go my friend. 

Wanting to let go of something is great, but actually letting go of something is really challenging. How many times has a situation occurred and weeks later you're thinking of different things you should have said or how you could have avoided the situation?  You go over and over it in your mind making up all kinds of scenarios which might give you relief for a minute, then you snap back to reality and realise that nothing has changed. 

Having anger boil up inside you is such an awful feeling. It's hard to concentrate on anything else, it's almost impossible to attract positive things and situations because of the vibe you're subconsciously giving off and you can actually make yourself ill. (Example: When you have something you need to say, your throat can get sore. When you're anxious about something, your chest can get tight and you can make yourself nauseous. When you're stressed about something, your sleep is interrupted and you end up run down and sick.) 

So let's ask ourselves.... what's the point?! What is done is done and it can't be changed. You can be angry and waste your time, energy and possibly make the situation worse, or you can follow these steps which helped me move forward positively. 

When I was working a casual job just out of high school, I got caught up in a yucky situation with a girl I hardly knew. I remember going over and over the situation in my head, stressing myself to tears, worrying what people would think of me and overall I was terrified of seeing her again. (Mostly because of all the stuff I was making up in my mind! Why do we always jump to conclusions and focus on the ABSOLUTE WORST that could happen?) 

Here's what I did to release my built up anger and heal the situation. 

1. Compromise with Yourself. 

What this girl did was wrong and a lie, however I had to get real with myself and think, what did I do wrong? This was hard, because of course our natural instinct is to protect ourselves. 

I thought back to when I met her, working together for a short time and all of our interactions. I was able to see that maybe I was being a little immature and leaving her out. We had a very close knit group in our workplace, and having a younger person come in and take charge threatened me. I finally broke through what I did wrong and what drove her to the brink of this situation. As ashamed as I was after these realisations, I actually felt relieved. 

I was playing victim for so long. I felt sorry for myself and had no idea why someone would do something so nasty to an innocent person! Playing victim is easy, you get attention, maybe some sympathy which you naturally crave while you're angry and upset, and you get to completely ignore it all, calling it an unfair situation and leaving it at that. (Although we all know that saying you will ignore it is a lot harder than actually ignoring it. You have to show up, and deal with the situation, as hard as it may be.) 

Always look deeper into YOU. You may not deserve bad situations, but did you do something that helped lead to it? Even the tiniest thing? It's important to admit this to yourself. It's also very selfless to do so. Even if you know the other person was completely in the wrong, admitting you're partly at fault releases anger because it all starts to make a little more sense.

2. See through Love

This step was a huge life lesson for me and something that I use every single day now. Seeing every person, situation and thing through love, changes everything. You don't know what anyone is going through, and your only duty is to respect that and be kind to everyone.

This situation was still affecting me after it happened, I don't deal well with negative situations, especially confrontation. My Mum told me that I needed to send her love. EW! Why would I send  love to someone who had been so cruel?! Mum explained to me that she obviously isn't having a great time either, and to do the things she did, she mustn't be very happy. This hit me like a tonne of bricks. 

One night before I went to sleep, I decided to send her love. You can do this in any way that feels right for you. I imagined standing opposite her and sending her a huge amount of beautiful white light. 

3. Release it 

It's all well and good to do step 1 and 2 but still obsess and freak out over the situation. You have to release it. Be proud that you have done all you can to rectify the situation. (Rectifying the situation doesn't mean confronting the person and sorting it out with them. It can, especially if it's a family member or close friend, but in my situation, seeing each other and talking about it would have only made things worse.)

So I thought that's it! And I released it. I thanked the Universe for healing the situation and I was proud of myself for showing up and admitting that as unfair as the situation was, maybe I was in the wrong too. A couple of weeks later, guess who I ran into? We didn't speak, but it was fine. It's like The Universe was showing me that it was over and that we had both moved on. I felt SO relieved and so clear. 

Respect Yourself

Respect yourself enough to give yourself this type of relief. YOU are the only person in your life who has the power to help yourself. You can't rely on other people or other sources to fix situations or to make you feel better or more inspired and positive. YOU have to do it yourself. Showing up to situations can be very confronting and scary, but what is scarier, is holding onto the negative thoughts and anger about a certain someone or situation for your whole life. That is the most unhealthy situation you can get yourself in.  

I really hope this blog helped you, please hit the LOVE heart button below if it did. If you have any topics you would like me to write about, please message me via the contact page! 

Cleo xx

 
Gabby Bernstein Quote
 

Missing Steps in the Law of Attraction

The Law of Attraction is a Universal law which allows us to manifest WHATEVER we want into our lives. The 3 steps are said to be ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE. 

However, after years of being obsessed with the Law of Attraction and the infinite possibilities that the Universe has available to us, I have figured out a few steps that are constantly missed or looked over. 

If you have given the Law of Attraction a go and have been disappointed with the result, then maybe you're missing a few of these crucial steps. I won't go into detail about the original steps, ask, believe and receive, but if you're new to the Law of Attraction and want to know more about these steps, read this blog here and then come back to this blog post! 

1. FOCUS

Before the 'ask' step, it is SO important to get focused on exactly what you want. The Universe likes specific and clear visualisations. You can ask for as many things as you want, the Universe doesn't work in quantity's and also doesn't care whether it's sending $20 or $20,000 your way. There is enough abundance, happiness and amazing things out there for everyone. However, separate your desires and ask for one specific thing at a time. After getting clear about exactly what you want, free your space and your mind before asking. It's more powerful to ask in a quiet, peaceful environment, where you're focused and in tune with the Universe and your own energy. 

2. ASK

3. BELIEVE

4. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

It's all well and good to imagine yourself in your new role at work, or in that new car, or with a new partner, but if you don't believe that you can be a great worker, partner etc. then that's not enough. You need to know wholeheartedly that you deserve whatever you're asking for. You need to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF completely. You're good enough. You're capable enough and you're ready! 

5. SURRENDER

This is a huge one, and the lady who taught me all about this, is the amazing Gabrielle Bernstein. Don't try and control your wish. For example: Say you want a promotion at work. You ask the Universe while meditating, you really believe you're good enough for the role, you see yourself in the role and create the feelings of excitement through your body, tricking your brain into thinking that these visualisations are real life.

Then you keep thinking about it, and how it might come about. Maybe Matt from accounts will go away on a holiday and you will step in and keep the role, maybe the sales will go through the roof and they will need two people in that role, and you obsess over how this wish of yours will come into reality. The Universe ALWAYS knows the quickest, and best option for you. Often, the Universe has an even BETTER plan for you. A mantra I use is: I accept this, or something better. Surrendering to the Universe can be really difficult, because when we want something it's natural to keep thinking and obsessing over that thing. However, we have to make a conscious effort to let go of our desire and TRUST that the Universe knows the best way. Trying to control your desire gets in the way of the Universe's plan. Don't underestimate it's power. 

6. RECEIVE 

7. GRATITUDE  

I am guilty of receiving and not being grateful. In one instance, I actually had my desire taken away from me! When I received this desire, I was excited but kept second guessing it. "Why did they choose me?" "The role will probably be cut from the show." "I won't believe it until I'm on set." Well, the Universe heard me loud and clear and took my desire straight off me!

Luckily I am getting better at tuning into a positive frequency quickly and attracting the things I want. Because of this, I was actually able to manifest this desire back, which was pretty crazy! But the point is, gratitude is one of the highest vibrations you can put out into the Universe, so to me, it NEEDS to be included in the Law of Attraction. It's also pretty simple. After receiving, THANK the Universe. Accept your desire you have just manifested with open, accepting and GRATEFUL arms, knowing that you deserve it. 

I hope you enjoyed this blog! Please hit the love heart button if it helped you, and feel free to get in contact via the contact page if you have a burning desire for me to write about a certain topic! 

Cleo xx