I'm really excited about this blog because I'm sure this is something that everyone can relate to. Anger can easily be held onto for no reason and the damage it does to you, your energy and your whole life is pretty crazy! You might be holding onto anger because a certain situation was unfair and the other person was completely in the wrong or maybe you're angry at yourself for something you did or you said? Either way, time to let it go my friend.
Wanting to let go of something is great, but actually letting go of something is really challenging. How many times has a situation occurred and weeks later you're thinking of different things you should have said or how you could have avoided the situation? You go over and over it in your mind making up all kinds of scenarios which might give you relief for a minute, then you snap back to reality and realise that nothing has changed.
Having anger boil up inside you is such an awful feeling. It's hard to concentrate on anything else, it's almost impossible to attract positive things and situations because of the vibe you're subconsciously giving off and you can actually make yourself ill. (Example: When you have something you need to say, your throat can get sore. When you're anxious about something, your chest can get tight and you can make yourself nauseous. When you're stressed about something, your sleep is interrupted and you end up run down and sick.)
So let's ask ourselves.... what's the point?! What is done is done and it can't be changed. You can be angry and waste your time, energy and possibly make the situation worse, or you can follow these steps which helped me move forward positively.
When I was working a casual job just out of high school, I got caught up in a yucky situation with a girl I hardly knew. I remember going over and over the situation in my head, stressing myself to tears, worrying what people would think of me and overall I was terrified of seeing her again. (Mostly because of all the stuff I was making up in my mind! Why do we always jump to conclusions and focus on the ABSOLUTE WORST that could happen?)
Here's what I did to release my built up anger and heal the situation.
1. Compromise with Yourself.
What this girl did was wrong and a lie, however I had to get real with myself and think, what did I do wrong? This was hard, because of course our natural instinct is to protect ourselves.
I thought back to when I met her, working together for a short time and all of our interactions. I was able to see that maybe I was being a little immature and leaving her out. We had a very close knit group in our workplace, and having a younger person come in and take charge threatened me. I finally broke through what I did wrong and what drove her to the brink of this situation. As ashamed as I was after these realisations, I actually felt relieved.
I was playing victim for so long. I felt sorry for myself and had no idea why someone would do something so nasty to an innocent person! Playing victim is easy, you get attention, maybe some sympathy which you naturally crave while you're angry and upset, and you get to completely ignore it all, calling it an unfair situation and leaving it at that. (Although we all know that saying you will ignore it is a lot harder than actually ignoring it. You have to show up, and deal with the situation, as hard as it may be.)
Always look deeper into YOU. You may not deserve bad situations, but did you do something that helped lead to it? Even the tiniest thing? It's important to admit this to yourself. It's also very selfless to do so. Even if you know the other person was completely in the wrong, admitting you're partly at fault releases anger because it all starts to make a little more sense.
2. See through Love
This step was a huge life lesson for me and something that I use every single day now. Seeing every person, situation and thing through love, changes everything. You don't know what anyone is going through, and your only duty is to respect that and be kind to everyone.
This situation was still affecting me after it happened, I don't deal well with negative situations, especially confrontation. My Mum told me that I needed to send her love. EW! Why would I send love to someone who had been so cruel?! Mum explained to me that she obviously isn't having a great time either, and to do the things she did, she mustn't be very happy. This hit me like a tonne of bricks.
One night before I went to sleep, I decided to send her love. You can do this in any way that feels right for you. I imagined standing opposite her and sending her a huge amount of beautiful white light.
3. Release it
It's all well and good to do step 1 and 2 but still obsess and freak out over the situation. You have to release it. Be proud that you have done all you can to rectify the situation. (Rectifying the situation doesn't mean confronting the person and sorting it out with them. It can, especially if it's a family member or close friend, but in my situation, seeing each other and talking about it would have only made things worse.)
So I thought that's it! And I released it. I thanked the Universe for healing the situation and I was proud of myself for showing up and admitting that as unfair as the situation was, maybe I was in the wrong too. A couple of weeks later, guess who I ran into? We didn't speak, but it was fine. It's like The Universe was showing me that it was over and that we had both moved on. I felt SO relieved and so clear.
Respect yourself enough to give yourself this type of relief. YOU are the only person in your life who has the power to help yourself. You can't rely on other people or other sources to fix situations or to make you feel better or more inspired and positive. YOU have to do it yourself. Showing up to situations can be very confronting and scary, but what is scarier, is holding onto the negative thoughts and anger about a certain someone or situation for your whole life. That is the most unhealthy situation you can get yourself in.
I really hope this blog helped you, please hit the LOVE heart button below if it did. If you have any topics you would like me to write about, please message me via the contact page!