Living a Guilt Free Life

Guilt is something that nobody wants to feel. It can bring on feelings of anxiety, stress and anger, along with negative thoughts and actions. Basically all the feelings which won’t allow us to live a positive and free flowing life.

If you lie, judge, purposely hurt others, cheat or put others down, you have a reason to feel guilty. If everything you are doing is through a kind, loving and giving heart, then you don’t have a reason to feel guilty. So why not aim to never feel guilty? I’m not saying do bad things and just choose not to feel guilty about it, I’m saying, choose to do and be good and you won’t have to feel guilty! It’s a win, win.

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

A lot of us feel guilt when we have no reason to, and that’s what I can’t wait to write about in today’s blog! My New Year Resolution for 2019 is ‘learn to say no without feeling guilty about it!’ It’s super hard to keep up, but I am loving the challenge and I think it’s something a lot of people need to work on.

How many times have you said or done something you regret and you feel a little bit of guilt kick in? Next minute that little bit of guilt has got you feeling anxious, and then that anxiety has you coming up with the worst possible scenarios in your mind and all of a sudden you’re in a completely negative mindset and feeling overwhelmed? Or maybe it’s about something you didn’t do? You didn’t go to that exercise class, didn’t go to that work meeting, or didn’t go to that party and that yucky feeling of guilt starts to kick in and it’s a downward spiral from there.

If you can relate to feeling guilty for some of the reasons above, and you were never doing or not doing these things to intentionally hurt others, then I am here to say, you have no reason to feel guilty!

I have broken down some aspects of life where I find most people (including myself) will feel guilty for no good reason. I hope this can inspire you to kick those guilty feelings to the curb and live a life where you feel comfortable doing, saying or not doing and not saying WHATEVER YOU WANT!

DIET

This is a big one. How often do you feel guilty about what you eat? Or maybe how much alcohol you consume? I believe eating a healthy diet is so important for our health and overall wellbeing and so is setting goals and having boundaries. However, I hear and see so many people beating themselves up when they mess up their diet, or have a second helping, drink too much alcohol etc.

This is your life and you need to enjoy every minute of it. You ate or drank whatever it was, because at the time, you wanted it! So be it. It’s done, end of story. Why waste time worrying and getting upset over something that can’t be changed?

I’m not one for diets because I don’t like feeling restricted. I also fear that if I have restrictions I will disappoint myself if I fail. So I chose another way of dieting. Instead of having ‘don’t eats’ I have ‘do eats.’ I turned a negative diet into a positive diet. I hope this can inspire you, but I totally understand this isn’t for everyone, some people love a restrictive diet, and I say go you!

MY DIET:

- 2 Litres of water a day

-Vegetables or salad in my lunch and dinner

-Two pieces of fruit

And that’s it! By the time I achieve all of this, there actually isn’t too much time left to eat naughty foods! While I have some ‘musts,’ in my diet, I’m not left feeling restricted, instead, I’m motivated to tick it all off. And if I get to my goal of eating and drinking all of this goodness, I will allow myself guilt free to have a treat or a little too much pasta, hehe.

EXERCISE

I believe moving your body is super important, but I also believe listening to your body is super important! With social media, it’s so easy to compare your fitness journey to incredibly fit people who are constantly posting their workouts. But it’s important that you, do you!

Like my diet, I also have my goals with exercise, however they’re flexible goals. I used to feel really guilty if I skipped a workout, but now when I’m tired, sore or just not feeling it, I will either skip it and not give the guilty feelings any attention or go for a walk instead. I definitely recommend coming up with an easier alternative, because at least then, you’re still moving your body!

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

WORK

Whether you work for yourself or for someone else, it’s easy to let those guilty feelings creep in. Maybe your presentation wasn’t up to scratch? Maybe you called in sick for the third day in a row? Maybe you procrastinated all day? Maybe you had to get stern with co-workers or your staff members?

It comes down to the same message. If you’re doing these things with a good heart and for good reason, you shouldn’t have to feel guilty. If you had a day where you procrastinated or your work wasn’t up to scratch, it’s okay! Sometimes the most productive way forward is to stop and rest! We also wouldn’t have ‘productive days’ if we didn’t have ‘un-productive days.’ Everyone goes through stages where they’re not motivated, happy or proactive at work, so when you’re going through these periods, don’t make it worse by allowing yourself to feel guilty, ride the wave and let yourself feel how you feel.

SOCIAL OCCASIONS

This is a huge one for me, and it’s the biggest reason for my New Year resolution of ‘saying no without feeling guilty.’ It is absolutely, 100%, a-okay to not want to go out to a social occasion every now and then. It’s also completely acceptable to just say, ‘no thanks, I don’t feel like it, or ‘I just really need some chill time at home.’

For those of you that have FOMO (fear of missing out), in the scheme of things, missing one social occasion is nothing. Do yourself a favour and rest. If you force yourself to go to something when you don’t want to, you’re likely going to turn up, subconsciously angry about being there. Your negative vibes will affect the other people, and you will probably end up saying or doing things that you will regret. On that note ….

WORDS & ACTIONS

What about the times where we did say something that was maybe inappropriate, rude, nasty or judgmental? Sometimes it is very fair to feel guilty about those things, and I definitely encourage you to apologise or at least recognise what you didn’t like about your behaviour.

But sometimes words or actions can come across negatively or wrong, when you’re trying to do something good. For example: sticking up for someone, or backing yourself up. Or maybe you said or did something that was a bit out there, or awkward? You must remember that you are you. Some of us are out there, awkward, sensitive or protective and that is okay! It’s so important to understand why you, yourself do or say certain things, and why our family and friends do or say certain things. If it is coming from a loving place, then you do not need to feel guilty. Even if it was embarrassing, awkward or negative, did you do anything wrong?! Or were you just being you? Sometimes our innocent words or actions can put other people out, or make them feel upset, embarrassed or angry and that’s not your problem, it’s theirs.

SPENDING

Money comes and goes. This is your life, and you get to choose how to spend your money that you work hard earning. Of course some people are better off than others, some people have more responsibility than others, but it’s important to enjoy this life and use your money to make you and your loved ones feel good.

A tip I have with spending and not feeling guilty, is using mantras. For those of you who read my blogs, you will know how much of an impact a positive mantra can have on your life! 'Money is constantly flowing to me,’ ‘I have more money than I could ever need,’ ‘I can afford this.’ Using these mantras is great, but believing these mantras is incredible, and not only will you not feel guilty about spending money every now and then, you will also attract more money into your life!

I hope you enjoyed today’s blog! Please hit the love heart button if you did and feel free to get in contact if you have any questions! Thanks so much for reading and I hope you have a guilt free day!

Cleo xx

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

Lucy Cruickshank Photography

Self Love 101

Loving yourself completely, will change everything. 

It's time to be the best version of YOU, and to do that you have to absolutely, whole heartedly love and believe in yourself like crazy. It's not vain to do so, it's actually humble. Show thanks to the Universe, God, Buddha (whoever you believe in), that you're so thankful that they made you, YOU. 

We all have special qualities, features and characteristics which make us individual. It's natural to compare, judge and hate on ourselves for the things that make us feel ugly, self conscious or not good enough. What a lot of people don't realise, is hiding these things, or hating on these things, does not do us any favours. In this blog, I am going to help you with a few techniques and examples to transform your views and ideas of yourself.

"Demonstrate love by giving it, unconditionally, to yourself. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions." - Paul Ferrini 
 
Joshua Tree California Kivari the Label
 

YOU

First things first. YOU are incredible. There is someone in this world, whether you know them or not, who admires you. They might admire your sense of humour, your hair, your style, your legs or your charisma. Just like you admire things about other people, people admire things about you. 

I don't know about you, but there have been a few times where I have said something like 'uhh, my hair looks so dry,' or 'this dress doesn't suit my body type,' and whoever I'm with, will have the complete opposite opinion. Not because they're lying to make me feel better, but because we are all SO picky and hard on ourselves, and majority of the time nobody else would notice or care about these tiny things we obsess and feel self conscious over. Think about it the other way around. How many times has a friend said something and you've thought 'I have never even noticed that spot on your face,' or 'I love your freckles, I can't believe you hate them!'

Next time you're feeling self conscious about something, remind yourself that you are the only one judging. (If other people are judging, then you don't need those people in your life, and judging only comes from jealousy.)

EXAMPLE: I used to absolutely hate the gap in my two front teeth and I was willing to spend thousands on braces to get rid of it. I was holding off because of money and auditions, and in the meantime, I started to notice a lot of people complimenting my gap. Now, other people's opinions shouldn't change yours, but in this instance it made me feel a little more confident. I forgot about it for a while, and I started to make an effort to love my gap. I would see it in photos, and instead of looking at it with disgust, I would look at it and be thankful. I liked that it was different and I liked how it shaped my face. Overtime, I genuinely and completely learned to love and accept my gap!
 
Pass Around the Smile Carefree
 

An exercise to assist Self Love 

Lie down alone, somewhere quiet and peaceful. Close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Once you have come to a place of calm, imagine yourself standing in an empty room. See yourself come out of your body, and rise above. You're now looking down at you, but from an outsiders point of view. You're not you anymore, so you don't have to feel uncomfortable complimenting yourself. Now go crazy. Really look at yourself, and force yourself to realise what you love about yourself. When you see something you don't like, be thankful for it and force yourself to see the beauty in it. 

Self love doesn't just make you feel comfortable in your own skin, it also opens you up to so many more opportunities, relationships and circumstances that you block when you're in a state of self consciousness. Now, you're not going to change, unless you truly want to change. Decide that feeling comfortable and confident in your own skin and attracting amazing new opportunities and people is important to you. This literally makes me so excited writing this! I can't wait until you see changes! 

YOU are the most important person in your life

Again, this is not selfish. YOU are the most important person in your life, because in order to help and be there for the ones you love, you have to be completely happy and in tune with yourself. To do this, you have to love yourself. Self love needs to be a priority. If everyone loved and accepted themselves, there would be no competing and no judgement. When you're happy within yourself and in a state of alignment and gratitude, you're constantly giving love, positivity and happiness, and the world needs more of that.

Because she competes with no one, no one can compete with her. - Lao Tze
 
Live Your Life - Law of Attraction
 

Help others love themselves! 

Helping other people feels good, and when you help others it will always come back to you. I make an effort to compliment my family, friends and strangers as much as I can. Not only does it boost their confidence and put a smile on their face, but it also helps you have realisations about yourself that you might not have been open to before. 

Forgive your mistakes.

We all make mistakes, big and small. While exploring self love, you must remember to be kind to yourself and easily forgive. It's very easy to stress and feel guilty over something you've done, but I'm here to tell you something... that is a waste of time and energy! You made that mistake for a reason, and one day soon it will all make sense. For now... be kind, forgive yourself and move on. 

Protect yourself and your energy! 

Be careful who you surround yourself with! Make a conscious effort to limit negative situations and people in your life. If you have to be in these situations or around these people, KILL THEM WITH POSITIVITY AND KINDNESS! (And try your best to not let them drain or affect your amazing energy!) 

 
Positivity Self Love Cleo Massey
 

Enjoy life!

We feel good when we're doing things that make us happy right?! It's much easier to practice self love when you're surrounded by the people and situations you want! So get yourself to that! Do whatever it takes to get the job you want, surround yourself with the people that lift you up, not bring you down! Create a life that YOU love. Don't worry about what others think. It's a pretty amazing world, and we can make of it whatever we like. 

Have fun, be bold, be YOU!

Cle xxx 

7 Steps to Manifesting Your Dream Life

Manifesting! The most exciting and addictive thing you'll ever do! 

1. WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Alright this is the fun part! I know the old 'make your goals realistic, 'take it slow so you don't disappoint yourself,' but you know what I say to that? BLA BLA BLA. 

I'm not saying lay back, relax and everything is going to come flowing your way. You still have to work for it, but what I'm saying is don't be afraid to aim high! Yes, create some smaller goals that you can work towards and complete in the near future so you feel inspired and proud of yourself, but what else do you want? What do you REALLY want? If you could have anything! A new house? A new job? A new group of friends? Unlimited money? A trip to Europe? To find happiness? Get your work published? Get a promotion? Loose weight? ANYTHING!!!

'The Secret', (an amazing Law of Attraction book) says to treat the Universe like the Genie in Aladdin, but instead of three wishes, you have unlimited! I know this can sound wishy washy, fairy-taley and a little bit magic, but here's the thing... IT IS MAGIC, but it's also been scientifically proven by some of the greatest scientists ever known, that the Law of Attraction is just as strong and viable as the Law of Gravity, you just have to know how to use it. 

2. ASK THE UNIVERSE

This is pretty simple. Once you're clear on what you want, ask the Universe! When I'm trying to manifest something, I try to ask when I'm alone. Whether I'm on a walk, on my lunch break or before I go to sleep. I concentrate completely on what I'm asking for, making sure I'm really clear and present in the moment. 

Also be careful how you ask. Can you see the difference in these questions?

-Universe, I don't want to suck on the presentation I have tomorrow. (Don't use any negative words.) 

-Universe, I want to do really well on the presentation tomorrow. (Okay, but always good to add some gratitude) 

-Universe, I'm so thankful that I'm going to ace my presentation tomorrow. (A lot more powerful!) 

What you can also do, is speak like it's already happened:

-Universe, I'm so thankful that I did an amazing job on my presentation. (The most powerful!) 

3. VISUALIZE

I love visualising, because not only is it exciting, but it also puts you on a great vibration, allowing you to attract good things into your life easily. 

There are two ways to visualise:

The first: Visualising after you have asked for something specific.

Focus on whatever that is. Try not to let your mind wander, you don't want to confuse yourself or the Universe. Try to separate asking for different things. For example: I wouldn't say, Universe, I really want to land a role in a comedy series, attract more money and go on a holiday. I would seperate them, whether it's by hours or days, just make sure you give each dream it's own time. 

The second: Flexible visualising.

Visualising can be really flexible. Allow your mind to soar! Sometimes before bed I will visualise how I want my next day to go, or maybe even the next week. I imagine all the amazing things that are going to happen and all the amazing opportunities that are going to come my way. I don't focus on anything in particular, just a whole heap of good stuff! 

This is a good way of visualising if you're not quite sure what you want. You might think 'I just want to be happy, and I want to attract good things.' Well lie there and imagine all the things that make you feel good flowing into your life. This is exciting because you will start noticing coincidences and situations in your life that make you really happy, yet you never manifested the situation in particular, you just manifested the feeling. 

Also, in moments when you're visualising and you quiet your mind, you are able to receive answers you didn't even know you were searching for.

4. ACT 'AS IF'

Acting 'as if' is quite hard, but once you get in the flow of it, it really works! This means acting as if you have whatever you're trying to manifest.

Say if it's a new car. Every time you go to leave your house, get excited as you would if your new car was waiting outside for you to drive. If you're trying to manifest more money, act as if you have money! Spend the extra $2 for fries with your burger, pay for the hotel with the sea view, donate to charity! The more you give, the more you get back. If you're constantly on a budget and saying things like 'I have no money,' 'I'm poor,' 'I can't afford it,' well then you're really not helping yourself. All the Universe hears is poor, can't and no money. Just like a Google search, the Universe hears your key words and sends more of that your way! 

5. YOU HAVE PLACED YOUR ORDER, NOW RELAX

I read in 'The Secret', that once you ask the Universe for what you want, treat it just like you have placed an order online. Say you have just purchased a t-shirt online. You've paid for it and got the conformation email. It's yours right? You would 100% believe in your mind that it's coming to you. 

Treat the Universe the same. It's coming. It's nearly here. It's yours.  

6. ENJOY AND BE THANKFUL

I say this a lot because it's really important. If you can't be thankful for what you have NOW, you will never attract anything new and exciting into your life. If you're reading this blog, you must have some kind of device. That's something to start with, if you have a computer, phone or iPad you're lucky! 

You need to get yourself to a place where you're 100%, completely and utterly in love and thankful for EVERYTHING in your life. Even the negative stuff. The negative stuff in life helps us grow and appreciate the good stuff! 

7. RECIEVE

This step seems so easy, but it's a little misleading. At the end of it all, you will receive what you have manifested! HOW EXCITING! You literally turned your dreams into reality with your mind, all because you believed you could. 

NOW, I want to share something that happened to me. I manifested something amazing into my life and then when it came, I freaked out. I thought I wasn't good enough and thought they had made a mistake choosing me. (P.s. if you struggle with self-doubt, read this blog.) 

So I basically rejected receiving and then guess what happened? They took it away from me! It was all my fault though, I look back and completely understand why everything happened how it did. 

When you receive, you need to receive with gracious, confident and accepting arms! Be thankful and know that this is meant for you and work forward with it.

FUN FACT: 

Do you know it is as easy to attract $5 than it is to attract $5 million? It's true! The only thing that's stopping you is your mind. If you can attract something small, you can attract something big.

The Universe doesn't recognise big or little - that's a human concept, it simply recognises what you want, and delivers it to you. (If you know and trust the process.)

Cleo xx

Get Rid of Self Doubt - Time For You to Shine!

Ever notice those people who are literally shining? They glow, constantly smile and seem to have a really positive affect on people around them? Well, you can be one of those people and I can tell you exactly when you will become one of those people...

 
 

We can all make a little bit of effort here and there, try to believe in ourselves, do some positive self talk, maybe begin to accept our flaws. Nope, sorry that's not enough. You need to COMPLETELY believe in yourself. COMPLETELY love yourself. You can't just tell yourself you're amazing with words but keep thinking negatively.

You need to do whatever it takes to help yourself realise that you're amazing, capable, strong, independent, courageous and competent.

You need to get rid of self doubt.

Unfortunately it's hard to get rid of self doubt completely. Among the thousands of thoughts we have in a day, we're going to have a few bad ones here and there. Just don't give them the time of day. Blow them a sassy kiss goodbye. 

It's the beginning of 2018, it's time to make some changes. It's time to become who you want to be, and to do exactly what you want to do. Letting go of self doubt will speed up this process immensely. 

I can't stress how important this is. The Law of Attraction won't work for you unless you completely believe that you're capable and deserving of what you want. No matter how much visualising, and work with the Law of Attraction you do... if you let self doubt take over, your subconscious will block the overall process. 

If you want to fast forward your life into a spiral of happiness, good things, great people and amazing experiences, then here are some steps that will help you get there, and fast!  

BE BRAVE

This is SO vital. You need to be so brave, so brave that it gives you butterflies and scares you a real lot! Nothing exciting, incredible and invigorating has ever come from comfort zones. 

So many times we sit on ideas because we're scared of judgment, failure or embarrassment. Well it's time to let that go, you can either live a life that isn't completely true to you, and live with regret and 'what ifs,' or you can give it a go! 

Ask yourself... whats the worst that could happen? You get judged? Well those people judging you are either jealous or not happy within themselves. Scared of failure? Well I think that you should fear regret more than failure, and failure is a part of success. I can guarantee every idol of yours has experienced failure. I read an amazing quote the other day, it was... "Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo." 

 
 

POSITIVE SELF TALK

Our body is filled with 60-70% water, and it has been proven by scientists all over the world that water is affected positively and negatively by words and emotions projected its way. So imagine what negative self talk is doing to your body. 

It's so easy to get angry with yourself. 'I'm stupid,' 'I suck at this,' 'I can't do this.' These words are so damaging to us. We are made up of energy, and you're only turning what energy you have inside of you to nasty and negative energy. It is natural to have upsetting thoughts but you need to make an effort to change them instantly. You need to tell yourself 'I can do this,' 'I am capable of this,' 'this is what I am meant to do,' 'I am thankful for the Universe's help and guidance.' Keep saying it until you believe it. 

Words are so powerful, and can not only change the energy and water patterns in your body, but can change your mood in a second, ushering in the good energy that you need and want. 

 
 

GET STARTED 

This is a big one. How many times have you had an idea, got really excited about it, and then gone on your phone and started scrolling? Or turned on the TV? Maybe went out with your friends and put it off. Yes, whatever you want to do is going to take effort, yes it's going to be a little difficult, yes it's going to take time. 

Let's take our minds back to a time we felt really proud of ourselves. Maybe you got on A on an exam you studied really hard for. Maybe something you worked on got published, maybe you finished a class or a course. Feeling proud of yourself is such an amazing feeling and helps you get on an amazing frequency which helps attract other incredible things. 

YOU can get yourself there. YOU have the power to achieve whatever you want. YOU have the resources and the mind power to start something. You'll feel so proud and accomplished that you will get yourself on a positive streak and attract things that you once thought weren't possible. Isn't that exciting?

So moral of the story, get started now OKAY?! Be so brave it scares you, and motivate yourself kindly. YOU are your biggest cheerleader, so help yourself out! 

Cleo xx

 
 

5 ways to make today AMAZING

If it were up to us, we would want everyday to be an amazing day. If it were up to us, we would want everyday to be inspiring, fun and uplifting! If it were up to us, we would only want to be surrounded by amazing people and exciting opportunities. Well guess what, it is up to us. It's up to YOU! 

No one else can determine how your day is going to go. It's completely up to YOU. You can choose to have a good day, or you can choose to have a bad day.

Unfortunately we can't control what happens around us, but we can control how we react to it! By being positive you are going to lessen the chances of negative things happening around you, but at the end of the day, other people's lives, are other people's lives. Not yours, not your problem.

Now, back to making today amazing! I always remember this section from 'The Secret'... In Aladdin, you know how the Genie says, 'your wish is my command?' Think of it like this...YOU are Aladdin, and the Genie is the Universe. All along, this fairytale had the Law of Attraction down pat! To receive, you need to believe. Think of it as shopping online. You put your order in, pay for it, and then you 100% believe your package is coming right? Treat the Universe exactly the same! Tell the Universe what you want, and believe that it is coming your way. 

The power of the mind is so incredibly amazing. We literally have the power to control our lives. YOU have the power to do whatever you want in this world.

YOU have the energy you need to manifest your dreams.

You might be thinking... yeah well eventually I will manifest my dreams, and maybe one day I will get the money, or the car or the lifestyle I want. Yes... true. But start today! Small changes result in big and exciting things! 

So today... you wake up, and you want to have an AMAZING day... You want to be your best, most positive self, and you want to attract all the good, unbelievable, incredible, exciting opportunities, people and things in the world. YOU CAN! AND YOU WILL! 

Here are five ways to get started and make today AMAZING: 

  • GRATITUDE! - Say your thank yous! You're not going to attract anything new into your life if you're not thankful for what you already have! Start your day by saying out loud what you're thankful for. (It's amazing how articulating what you're thankful for makes you realise how lucky you are. It puts you in a positive mindset for the day ahead!) Check out my 30 day Challenge which explores this a bit further here: 30 Day Challenge
  • VISUALISE! - What do you want? Spend a minute, 2 minutes, 30 minutes, however long you can, visualising EXACTLY what you want. Not only does this get you excited and motivated, but you're moving forward in more ways than you can imagine. Remember... the brain can't distinguish what is imaginary and real... so trick it!
  • DISTRACT YOURSELF - While having time to meditate, relax and visualise is amazing, one of the main rules of the Law of Attraction is to LET GO! (To let go of your wish, and to trust that it is coming.) I never understood how I was supposed to 'let go' of something that I wanted so badly! Until I did it. I got busy, and forgot... and then BAM! It came to me. So distract yourself with work, with friends, with all of the things that make you HAPPY! 
  • TREAT YOURSELF! - I've said it once and I'll say it again. Stop stressing over the money or time you 'don't have,' stop feeling guilty for eating bad, or not finishing your work that day. We're allowed to fall behind, we're allowed to be lazy, and we're allowed to spend our hard earned money! If we were never lazy, we wouldn't know what it feels like to be productive! If we never spent our money, we wouldn't know how good it felt to earn it! If we never ate bad, we wouldn't get to experience those fun times where we can let loose and indulge!  
  • TRUST THE UNIVERSE! - And finally... trust! It's so exciting that we have a higher power to lean on. For some it might be God, a loved one in Heaven, the Universe, or something completely different! TRUST that you're being guided. If you're having a bad day, or if you're not feeling inspired... remember, the Universe has a plan for you. This is just a little detour, and one day we will understand why it happened. We all have our own path, and we're all on our way, or are already there. If you're on your way, enjoy the journey, if you're already there, be thankful! 

I hope you enjoyed today's blog! 

Cleo xx

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: Natalie Imgraben (She's seriously amazing)

INSTAGRAM: @natalieimgraben 

 
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